Surprising

One of my biggest reservations about going on my mission was leaving my family. I tried to leave my family once, to go to college (25 minutes away). I ended up driving home once or twice a week and ultimately just moved home rather than waste money paying for a dorm that I only lived in part-time.

After that experience I realized that it would be really hard for me to move out when the time eventually came. I was still two years away from worrying about a mission so I didn't think about it too much. When I finally accepted the fact that it was in Heavenly Father's plan for me to go on a mission I said, okay, fine, I'll go, but it's going to be really really hard to be away from home.


I had that attitude in the back of my mind most of the time leading up to my mission. I knew that I could do it, and I knew that it would be worth it to do it. I knew that because of the Savior's promise he gave to some of the first missionaries...

"He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." 

Matthew 10:39

But despite that knowledge, I had the unbreakable idea in my mind that the hardest thing about my mission would be homesickness. I thought I would have to fight tooth and nail to never think about or talk about or remember my family. I figured that if I didn't think about them, then I wouldn't be able to miss them. So that was my initial plan, I was going to go 18 months without thinking about them at all.

If you have even glanced at my blog for just a few moments, you would know that I did not succeed in that particular endeavor. I think about and talk about and blog about my family often. They are a huge motivation for me and I have found thinking about them in terms of my love for them and my desire to be an eternal family with them has helped me to be cheerful and to keep going in this hard and amazing work I am engaged in.

Last night we were visiting with our Bishop (the ecclesiastical leader of our local congregation) and he asked Sister Barnes and me a question, he said "What has been the most surprising thing about your mission?" I thought about it for a second and I realized that the most surprising thing has been that I haven't been homesick.

Of course I love and miss my family, and I would love to be at my aunt's wedding this weekend or to be there for my great-grandpa's funeral. But I haven't really been homeSICK. It has never been debilitating, that I can recall. In all of my 6 months away from home I don't remember curling up in a ball and wishing I could be home.

I believe that is because the promise that the Savior made didn't mean we were supposed to lose the person we've always been. It meant that as we focus on doing the work of Heavenly Father the blessings that we have already been given (like our families) will be enriched and magnified.